So, if I know this about myself already, why does it always surprise and annoy me? I love to go all out and start things but rarely finish them completely! I think I have this aversion to something great ending so I'm always looking for distractions! That's the line I'm going with anyway!
I have several projects in the works and all of this glorious weather has my fingers itching for 'non-wool' options. Thus I've made some nice progress on Meag's bamboo sweater. Truth be told, unless I knit on that all day for a few weeks, I won't finish it in time for her to wear it this summer! Grrrrr....
Sean's block-a-month has stagnated and I need to knit up May and June soon. Mom's afghan hasn't been touched for two weeks...it's virgin wool for goodness sake...hot, hot, hot!
So, true to form, I found another urgent project that just has to start now and jumped off that cliff! I've finally gotten of my behind and dug out the walking sneakers! Three days in a row now. I'm a little soar but I am determined to keep it up! I'm eating well ~ yummy, healthy foods~ and I'm letting myself 'run' with this new found desire to get back into all my 'cool' clothes! I think I may post a daily food log here so if you're not interested in those, check the title....I'll name it something obvious! I just need to record it all to keep me motivated!
Happy summer!
Monday, May 31, 2010
Friday, May 14, 2010
Day 56 - Why an hour of knitting in the first place
After a very long day of highest highs and some pretty low lows, I found myself chastising the idea of finding an hour a day to knit! How ridiculous with all that goes on in my life, right? Well, I remember why. I finally had a chance yesterday to sit down and watch some mindless tv and I picked up Mom's afghan and knitted the whole time. I have been memorizing the pattern with each sitting so that I can almost do it without the chart. As the panel gets longer, I get less stressed and cranky. I take the focus off all that went wrong with me and my day to focussing on what's right with this surprise, with happy family memories and it all melts away.
Okay, so maybe it all comes right back when I put the project down and life begins it's assault again, but for one glorious hour, all is right with the world!
Okay, so maybe it all comes right back when I put the project down and life begins it's assault again, but for one glorious hour, all is right with the world!
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Day 55 - How wonderfully fulfilling to do for others!
So here is where my heart lives - in the joy of doing for others. It almost feels selfish to relish in the feelings of happiness and contentedness. I have been so hyper-focused on the career, the kids needs and other pressing things that the knitting has gone by the wayside. I really wanted to spend mother's day knitting and relaxing in that simple joy but each of my WIPs were in "problem" mode! So off I went to my LYS for help and inspiration! Jen helped me figure out what row I'd stopped Meag's lacy sweater on and Tasha rationed with me that I just needed to rip my Aran square back to the blatant un-crossed cable and inch or so back. Paula offered to take my other project to figure out my problem but I couldn't let her do it! I really didn't want to let it out of my hands and I felt even more strongly that I should be the one to figure this puzzle out.
You see the puzzle was my mothers! For a few years I have heard her tell the story of the afghan in the attic. I was always intrigued and interested to see it but the conversation always ended with "oh, it's really nothing to look at, all synthetics, I'm sure and barely even started. We'll look at it another time." That's my mother - always practical. I however finally found my opportunity to sneak up to the attic and find The Attic Afghan! Not only was I not dissapointed, but I was thrilled with what I found and promptly stole it and headed to the shop to figure out how I could finish this for Mom!
The story goes something like this. My mother had a lovely life and home in Long Island. She was happily married, a stay-at-home mom to 7 children and surrounded by family and friends. My father, the dreamer, decided to move the family and his woodworking business to CT. A relative who lived in Thompson, CT convinced him that this was where he needed to be and that there were plenty of places his business could flourish. Dad set out to find property and buy a house.
While Mom was back in Long Island stewing over the fact that all she knew and loved was about to be ripped out from under her, she purchased yarn and an afghan pattern and began a beautiful cabled pattern. As mom tells it, the yarn was cheap synthetic and possibly ugly colors (or did I assume the color?) and the lovely cabled pattern she thought she was buying turned out to be mock cabled panels that would then have to be sewn together. In all accounts, it was a failure! She had not gotten very far (1 & 1/2 panels) when her life changed drastically. Daddy found the dream house and moved the family up north.
In my version of this story, Mom sat in very fleeting moments of knitting, as it would be with 7 children, and dreamed of her new life with a happy outcome. She probably immagined that the house would be grand and lavish and that life would be easier. I am sure she willed herself to be strong and not to cry when she said goodbye to family and friends. I know she envisioned herself on the wrap-around porch snuggling any number of children in the afghan.
The reality was that the 'dream house' was an old victorian in need of much work. Over time my father built a kitchen onto the house and the attached out house (yes, I did say outhouse!) was converted into a closet! There was always so much to be done to fix it up and keep it running - there still is to this day! More children kept coming, and in about 10 years, with 9 children, a failing business and a diagnosis of cancer, Daddy passed away and Mom was left to survive it all! She did so graciously and bravely. I thank her for that.
Needless to say, the "Attic Afghan" never again saw the light of day. It lay up there for over 40 years. When I found it, I was thrilled to see that the synthetic was actually 100% Virgin Wool! The colors were an olive/foresty green and white that has yellowed over time. The panel that is done is beautiful! I inspected it all thoroughly and with every touch felt a pull towards giving some small thing back to Mom who's given us all so much. There are no bugs or moths; a tribute to the label's claim of "completely mothproofed!" Other than the yellowed yarn, it's ready to be finished! And although I purchased a compatible off white Galway from Jen, when I got home, I found the exact same yarn on an eBay auction! I will try to get that!
The only potential problem and thus Paula's offer, was that the pattern was no where to be found! I searched books and online and took advice from the masters and tried to figure it out. When all of that failed, I un-knitted 25 rows and painstakingly charted each and every stitch. I then created my own pattern chart and began to complete this afghan. It is so lovely! With every stitch, I am reminded of how the best gift my mother ever gave me was her love of motherhood! I look at my time with my children as my best and most important gift! And with every stitch I remember all that self-less love Mom gave and continues to give to all of us!
I hope that I can finish this quickly and that each time she wraps herself in it, she feels all of that love engulfing her and keeping her warm!
You see the puzzle was my mothers! For a few years I have heard her tell the story of the afghan in the attic. I was always intrigued and interested to see it but the conversation always ended with "oh, it's really nothing to look at, all synthetics, I'm sure and barely even started. We'll look at it another time." That's my mother - always practical. I however finally found my opportunity to sneak up to the attic and find The Attic Afghan! Not only was I not dissapointed, but I was thrilled with what I found and promptly stole it and headed to the shop to figure out how I could finish this for Mom!
The story goes something like this. My mother had a lovely life and home in Long Island. She was happily married, a stay-at-home mom to 7 children and surrounded by family and friends. My father, the dreamer, decided to move the family and his woodworking business to CT. A relative who lived in Thompson, CT convinced him that this was where he needed to be and that there were plenty of places his business could flourish. Dad set out to find property and buy a house.
While Mom was back in Long Island stewing over the fact that all she knew and loved was about to be ripped out from under her, she purchased yarn and an afghan pattern and began a beautiful cabled pattern. As mom tells it, the yarn was cheap synthetic and possibly ugly colors (or did I assume the color?) and the lovely cabled pattern she thought she was buying turned out to be mock cabled panels that would then have to be sewn together. In all accounts, it was a failure! She had not gotten very far (1 & 1/2 panels) when her life changed drastically. Daddy found the dream house and moved the family up north.
In my version of this story, Mom sat in very fleeting moments of knitting, as it would be with 7 children, and dreamed of her new life with a happy outcome. She probably immagined that the house would be grand and lavish and that life would be easier. I am sure she willed herself to be strong and not to cry when she said goodbye to family and friends. I know she envisioned herself on the wrap-around porch snuggling any number of children in the afghan.
The reality was that the 'dream house' was an old victorian in need of much work. Over time my father built a kitchen onto the house and the attached out house (yes, I did say outhouse!) was converted into a closet! There was always so much to be done to fix it up and keep it running - there still is to this day! More children kept coming, and in about 10 years, with 9 children, a failing business and a diagnosis of cancer, Daddy passed away and Mom was left to survive it all! She did so graciously and bravely. I thank her for that.
Needless to say, the "Attic Afghan" never again saw the light of day. It lay up there for over 40 years. When I found it, I was thrilled to see that the synthetic was actually 100% Virgin Wool! The colors were an olive/foresty green and white that has yellowed over time. The panel that is done is beautiful! I inspected it all thoroughly and with every touch felt a pull towards giving some small thing back to Mom who's given us all so much. There are no bugs or moths; a tribute to the label's claim of "completely mothproofed!" Other than the yellowed yarn, it's ready to be finished! And although I purchased a compatible off white Galway from Jen, when I got home, I found the exact same yarn on an eBay auction! I will try to get that!
The only potential problem and thus Paula's offer, was that the pattern was no where to be found! I searched books and online and took advice from the masters and tried to figure it out. When all of that failed, I un-knitted 25 rows and painstakingly charted each and every stitch. I then created my own pattern chart and began to complete this afghan. It is so lovely! With every stitch, I am reminded of how the best gift my mother ever gave me was her love of motherhood! I look at my time with my children as my best and most important gift! And with every stitch I remember all that self-less love Mom gave and continues to give to all of us!
I hope that I can finish this quickly and that each time she wraps herself in it, she feels all of that love engulfing her and keeping her warm!
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Day 54 - Why are my posts taking weeks to show up??????
Oh, the joys of technology! I have no idea why my posts are appearing three weeks after I write them but it certainly makes my reading them more fun!
Yesterday, I attempted to discover where I'd left off on Meag's spring sweater but I am not really good at finding the needle in a haystack. I may have to frog it and begin again. I hate to do it as it's a really long cast on, but I'm only 1 1/2" into it so maybe it's better to count my losses now. I really need to find time for that "happy place." These days, work and life have been trying my patience and we'd all benefit from Mom finding a little time for peace!
On a totally different note, I have begun to allow myself time to write again. I have been working on finishing up 5 songs and have recorded the first two. I've been away from the performance aspect of my craft for far too long and this has really been motivating and inspiring! I've shared some of my pieces with some experts and some other trained musician. All seem to like what I've produced and I've gotten some really great constructive critiques which have allowed me to improve some things. I guess the real test is the family and friends I've shared them with. After all they are a more realistic sample of a potential audience. As hard as that's been, they've all loved it! Such a scary ledge to jump from but it's getting easier each time.
I've had some interesting doors open lately and if I can just get through the next 6 weeks with grace, who knows what next year will bring. I do know that it will be different in many ways and I can't wait!
Okay, off to rip it, rip it, rip it!!!!!!
Yesterday, I attempted to discover where I'd left off on Meag's spring sweater but I am not really good at finding the needle in a haystack. I may have to frog it and begin again. I hate to do it as it's a really long cast on, but I'm only 1 1/2" into it so maybe it's better to count my losses now. I really need to find time for that "happy place." These days, work and life have been trying my patience and we'd all benefit from Mom finding a little time for peace!
On a totally different note, I have begun to allow myself time to write again. I have been working on finishing up 5 songs and have recorded the first two. I've been away from the performance aspect of my craft for far too long and this has really been motivating and inspiring! I've shared some of my pieces with some experts and some other trained musician. All seem to like what I've produced and I've gotten some really great constructive critiques which have allowed me to improve some things. I guess the real test is the family and friends I've shared them with. After all they are a more realistic sample of a potential audience. As hard as that's been, they've all loved it! Such a scary ledge to jump from but it's getting easier each time.
I've had some interesting doors open lately and if I can just get through the next 6 weeks with grace, who knows what next year will bring. I do know that it will be different in many ways and I can't wait!
Okay, off to rip it, rip it, rip it!!!!!!
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