Day 58 - Two months later....

So, it's been two months since I've written on my "daily" blog! I have been knitting - not everyday through June, but keeping it going through most of July. I have started a pair of socks for Dan that are a lovely grey, superwash Merino. They are a challenge in that I really wanted to do them in a new way. I decided to try magic loop knitting and am doing them two at a time. This really makes it seem to go faster - I know it's all an illusion, but I still enjoy watching them develop together! I also decided to do these socks toe-up since finding cuff down TAAT magic loop patterns was difficult.

So there it is, three new techniques in one project! I knew when starting these I could potentially fail. Thus far it's been easy. I will have to see when it comes time for the heel flap and gussets.

I still have Meag's lacey sweater to finish, Mom's afghan and Patty's tuscany shawl (not to mention many other WIPsS) but I am enjoying the peacefulness of simple sock patterns for now!

Day 54 - Why are my posts taking weeks to show up??????

Oh, the joys of technology! I have no idea why my posts are appearing three weeks after I write them but it certainly makes my reading them more fun!

Yesterday, I attempted to discover where I'd left off on Meag's spring sweater but I am not really good at finding the needle in a haystack. I may have to frog it and begin again. I hate to do it as it's a really long cast on, but I'm only 1 1/2" into it so maybe it's better to count my losses now. I really need to find time for that "happy place." These days, work and life have been trying my patience and we'd all benefit from Mom finding a little time for peace!

On a totally different note, I have begun to allow myself time to write again. I have been working on finishing up 5 songs and have recorded the first two. I've been away from the performance aspect of my craft for far too long and this has really been motivating and inspiring! I've shared some of my pieces with some experts and some other trained musician. All seem to like what I've produced and I've gotten some really great constructive critiques which have allowed me to improve some things. I guess the real test is the family and friends I've shared them with. After all they are a more realistic sample of a potential audience. As hard as that's been, they've all loved it! Such a scary ledge to jump from but it's getting easier each time.

I've had some interesting doors open lately and if I can just get through the next 6 weeks with grace, who knows what next year will bring. I do know that it will be different in many ways and I can't wait!

Okay, off to rip it, rip it, rip it!!!!!!

Day 45 - Time spent learning, growing and cherishing every moment

Today I finally made it to Woolworks and was struck by how although it's been so long since I've been able to spend time with my friends there, it felt like coming home. There were new relatives to meet and although they are now the regulars and I was the 'new one' to them, I still felt completely at ease and happy. Such lovely new people. I miss that time I used to be able to find for me. I'm determined to find that again.

Jen was so gracious and patient with my learning process as she taught me how to 'set in' my sleeves to Nanny's sweater. Unlike the old days when I would happily let her teach me by doing it for me, today I needed to understand every step and do it myself. She was great about helping me when I was afraid to do it wrong and so wonderfully patient when I constantly asked "is this right?" It is so important to get this one right and to settle for mistakes today is not an option. At one point, I'd realized I'd done something wrong and it wasn't a problem to rip it out and do it right. I really feel like I hit a new level of understanding today. And not just about the sweater! I have about 5 more ends to weave in and then tomorrow I will lovingly knit the collar band and the button band on both sides and I will be done completely. When I try it on with the sleeves all done, I am so excited. I think Noreen would have been so please with this use of the Christmas gift money! I think she would have been proud to see that I'd actually stuck with it and finished it! I wish she were here to celebrate when I finish it.

It is amazing how things turn out alright in the end. Through today's wonderful endevors, I met some wonderful new friends, refreshed my harried state of mind with good friends and good conversation and ended the day with a wonderful meal at Olive Garden with the most wonderful husband and children. I so enjoyed the day. It reminded me how much the time spent with those you love has got to be the priority in life. It is not enough to be so busy building careers or networking for advancement. What matters most is people and relationships. I am blessed to have won the lottery in that respect. Some interesting conversations today made my future endevors even more appealing too so that was an enexpected bonus!

Tomorrow I will post the finished sweater project and celebrate!

Day 27 - New Things

New drivers license, new permit for Sean, new granite counter tops, new faucet. Totally exhausted from just watching it all happen. I cannot wait till I am all better! I am tired of being tired and tired feeling this way. There was no time to focus on getting better today. Tomorrow it's back to work and back to the real world. I will have to brace myself to get through the day though as I am still feeling so weak and shaky. Ah well.

I had no time to knit today and feel that it is going to have to be okay. I will try to do a few rows on Nanny's sweater tonight before I go to bed. That's all for today.

Day 22 - the flu wins out

No knitting today. Just the mere action of working my fingers over this keyboard is agony. Yesterday I stayed home and slept but work must go on and so today I dragged through classes. I tried not to cough on my students, directly anyway! I got all of my exams ready and got the kids to basketball and skating. Then dear hubby called and said he was coming home early and he went to the food store for me, retrieved both children and cooked dinner! I am a lucky woman!

I am missing my knitting. I held my sleeves for the sweater today. That's right, just held them and dreamed of what it would be like to actually wear the finished garment. I love the feel of the Ultra Alpaca. It is sturdy and comforting yet it makes my fingers happy as it winds through with each stitch. It's like a good friend, a reminder of strength and love, a reminder of Noreen. Maybe that's the real reason I've not been able to finish it. To finish it closes a story I'm not ready to end. She'll never see me in the sweater....my last gift from a woman I loved dearly. I miss her and Pop's every single day.

Day 14 or Day 21??????

So, this is really hard to figure out, should I be listing this as Day 21 of my knitting journey, or Day 14 since I haven't posted since day 13? Had I not fallen off the wagon, I wouldn't be here. But the truth of the matter is that I am a starter. Plain and simple, I have know this about myself for most of my adult life. I am constantly trying to change this about myself and I refuse to give in! Let me know what you think!

Speaking of feedback, I want to say Thank you and I'm sorry to Katie! My lone reader! Now that I know you're out there, I feel I've let you down! A week's a long time to go and I will not let you down again - Promise!

I have some legit. excuses! I've been battling some work issues...yes, I am one of those who takes it all home. (Yet another area to change) And I've been working feverishly to make my daughter's dream dress for the Winter Ball at her high school! Truth be told, I'm in over my head as I haven't sewn clothes for the kids since they were in about third grade! I used to love to make them first day of school clothes and Halloween costumes. I'd even make a dress for Meag and matching pants and vest for Sean for Easter and Christmas! One year, I even made my dear husband a matching Christmas vest in dark green velvet! He loves me so much he even wore it!

So amidst the feverish knitting, which I'll get to in a minute, I've been cutting, pinning and sewing! I have the bodice and skirt put together and next is a zipper and straps and then hemming! The dance is Saturday! AUGH!!!!! The zipper scares me but I'll do my best not to let her down!

So, the knitting.....When I can no longer stand the patterning, I've been working this week on my sweater from Noreen. I'd made a promise to finish before the cold weather goes and I am determined not to let myself or her memory down. I've also been hunting for the last ball of yarn needed to finish the project for my swappee, but I'm now wondering if I'll even need it. I'll have to investigate that a little further over the weekend....after I finish the dress!

Day 5 (PM) Long, productive day

Well, today was another success! I am already feeling tired though so I thought I'd blog a little early and turn off this over worked laptop.

Today, I finished the dress for Lily. I am sitting here looking at it and cannot wait to see it on her. Cindy is such an earth-crunchy friend and the color and fabric are so fitting for her daughter. I can't believe that I've waited so long to finish this! It's so cute, it almost makes me want to have more babies, just to knit them cute little clothes! But alas, those days are dead and gone.

So I made up my mind today to get more organized in the knitting. I decided to take pictures of projects and of yarn in my stash and log it on Ravelry. I also made up my mind that I must put off getting back on track with Nanny's sweater. This was such a wonderful gift from Nanny and I owe it to her to get it finished and wear it in her honor.

So, after many hours of cleaning my office/stash, I took the plunge and ripped out both sleeves! I had screwed them up long ago and want this to be perfect. I have successfully ripped them out and re-wound the skeins. Amazingly, I do not feel the guilt, loss or regret I thought I would be wrought with! I instead, feel light a weight has been lifted. I feel empowered! I feel strong. I love that.

Lesson: Sometimes we must face our emotions head on. Facing them with honesty and courage can open up new doors! We can only see what we're made of when we trust ourselves to reach our own expectations!

Anyway, tonight, I've casted on both sleeves on one circular needle and am back in business. I should set a goal for myself as to a finish date, but I think I will just enjoy the process!

Day 5 (AM)

Well, I've already finished another project today. I finished the dress I was making for Cindy's baby. It took me 5 months of so to ask for help on the top edge. Lesson: Ask for help when you discover you need it...don't wait!

I woke up this morning wanting it done. I wove in the 14 ends and then proceeded to hem the 40 inches of the bottom of the dress! Lessons: 1. Learn how to pick up the picot edge whilst knitting the garment. 2. hemming in such a way that the stitches are hidden is a very rewarding feeling.

This goes back to the adage that a job well done is worth doing! I was really pretty happy with the fact that I could do this successfully. Having completed this though brings me one step closer to that sweater project that I promised myself I'd finish before Thanksgiving. I did not. This sweater is a blessing and a painful remembrance and so I shouldn't be surprised that I have been avoiding it. Technically, I knitted the sleeves one at a time and made a mistake in the wrist of one. The result, they are two different sizes. I've agonized over my next steps for over a year as that's how long it's been sitting there unfinished.

I guess that leaves me only one real option: I must rip both sleeves out and begin them again. Today I will do just that, rip them out. Maybe then I can come to grips with the fact that Nanny always made me feel like giving anything less than 100% was letting myself down. I really miss her and her inspiration. I need to finish this project and so today I will begin that journey.