Hey everyone so October is coming to a close and I'm not going to lie I am depressed! With my hip all out of whack and not exercising for long I feel like I totally gained back weight and I just feel out of control! It's awful! I worked so hard but I feel like it's still not enough. What really irritates me is that my exercise plans and goal were ruined. I mean life gets in the way there is no doubt about that but it's going to be so hard to get back into my workout routine. I guess I need your ladies support because I am really in need of some guidance right now.
I know losing weight takes time but I'm just frustrated because I wanted to be in the 160's when I hit the end of October and I don't think I made it. I still don't have a scale. It's so close and so far. I'm also a little scared to go back to pure barre and working out because I don't want to further injure myself. I don't know where to go from here and it worries me because I want to lose weight and I want to be healthy.
I want to feel confidence in myself, and I don't want to give up because I don't want to be the chubby girl in college.
Yup I said it, I've been holding that in for awhile! It sucks so much being a little rounder in college especially when I go to school at a private university in the O.C.....where everyone look like the typical Californian boy and girl. I am obviously not like that haha and I'm fine with that, but I still can't help but feel very self conscience when I go to a party or an event at school. I worry very much about my appearance because I feel that because I am bigger than most already it's like I have to look my best wherever I go because I have to make up for that. Silly I know but I can never go to school in sweats or workout clothes. I have to always look and be my best because I feel like I have to hide my body to try and fit in. I mean I am in college for goodness sake shouldn't I not have to worry about this? Like I said I'm frustrated and for once I would like to have that feeling of being happy inside and out in regard to my health and body.
So any ideas lady to help me squash my fears/anxieties? I need to do this and I will do this but goodness gracious is it hard!
I hope all is well and you guys are keeping up your good work I know most us are sick so feel better!
Sammy- Sorry I took so long in your time of need. Woe private school in the OC? Girl I can see how it would be very uncomfortable to be a little heavier than the average girl.Don;t let it get you down and Don't give up. You have come a long way to get where you are. Yes go back to pure barre just be more conscious of your body. Chances are you won't reinjure yourself. Breath...it's ok if you didn't meet your goal. I didn't meet mine either but I am still porud of how far I have come in my journey to better health. You should be proud of yourself too.
ReplyDeleteI agree w/Molly - our goals are like a road map. They tell us where we want to end up. Our journey there is going to take some turns, maybe even hit some road blocks and we may even have to come up with a detour. That's part of the game and we're all in it for the long haul.
ReplyDeleteI also need to say this. Sammy, you say your reasons for losing are to be healthy and fit, but you our-pouring above, is saying something else. It says to me that you're in this for the wrong reasons - that you want to lose weight (honestly) to 'fit in.' If this is your real motivation right now, you are not going to let yourself succeed.
I know that sounds harsh, but sometimes that's what we need. Now here's why I think that's CRAP! You don't need to find ways to fit in out there! We've only know each other for a short time, but I KNOW that you are an outstanding human being. You are beautiful, hard working, loving, creative, determined, intelligent, and so much more! You need to take a good look at yourself in the mirror and see beyond the physical Sammy.
You need to allow yourself to focus some of your strength on yourself. You need to tell remind yourself of all of the outstanding things about Sammy that you've forgotten or pushed on the bottom of the priority list of what makes you a 'valuable' human being. So you don't have the CA metabolism that most in your arena do. Screw that! You know that you have things you want to change physically, but you need to allow yourself to love you for who you are right now - 110%! Then, map your detour and enjoy the journey again.
I hope this is not too harsh, but sometimes I think we all need a kick in the pants! :) I love you - as you are - right this very minute. And when you're a skinny minnie - even if it takes a lot longer than you want it too, I'll be proud of your work, but I won't love you any more! <3
Thanks guys I really needed that. I'm in need of a revamp in my life and Christine you are so right I am really bad about my reasoning when it comes to losing weight.
ReplyDeleteFor some reason it's really hard not to think that once I'm skinnier I will fit in more. I try and turn my perspective around but it's always very difficult for me. I do want to be healthy I have seen to many people I love hurt because they don't take care of themselves. The worst part is I have been in many situation where people have told me that I would be even prettier if I just lost some weight...yeah it's obviously affected me. Most of the time it is not meant maliciously but it still hurts.
You ladies are awesome and I am definitely turning my life around. I realized that I need a little more help and I am going to take advantage of the counseling services on campus. I am also going to get a 24 hour gym membership. Pure barre is to expensive and my ride is not going to do it anymore :(
But no worries I am mapping out my detour :)
Thank you so much for your love and support it means so much and I am so grateful I can talk to you ladies about it!
p.s favorite part is when you said I don't have the CA metabolism Christine ahahaha I busted up laughing!
Sammy- It sounds like you have a good detour plan. I am glad to be of help. This group is awesome!! I cannot begin to explain how much this has hepled me. Thank you ladies so much.
ReplyDeleteTIME ERODES ALL BEAUTY. IT IS YOUR CHARACTER THAT REALLY MATTERS.
ReplyDeleteahh Molly you are awesome! I am so proud of our group!
ReplyDelete<3 :)
ReplyDelete