It's been a long weekend!

Hello ladies! Welcome back Miss Molly glad to hear your vacation went well. Also Christine keep up the good work you are literally walking circles around me :).

Sorry I am responding so late my birthday was on Friday so my day has been devoted to getting ready back to school. These next two weeks are going to be bonkers. I start school on the 27th and my mother is having foot surgery on the 26th. SO I am living in a mad house as of right now. On top of that I start classes on the 30th and I don't have any of my books yet and I am not happy with me schedule. I am stressing big time!!! \

So much to do so little time but the good news is I haven't been eating like a crazy woman. Granted on my birthday I had a few extra servings but so far I have kept my promise of listening to my body. I'm trying not to clean my plate anymore and I am trying to eat slower so I can get fuller faster and it's helping a lot. I'm trying to make better choices when I am out and about and it's working. I don't dare look at the scale but I fear I may have gained a bit more weight but I will keep you posted on that.

Story time so since I am going back to school I obviously have to do some back to school shopping. I love to shop but the one thing I try to avoid shopping for is...bras. It is probably the worst experience ever!!! As I have mentioned before I carry my weight in my upper body. Meaning I have a wide and fat back and trust me finding a bra to fit my big back and small chest is no fun. I can't even tell you how many times I have broken down crying in the dressing room because that cute top/dress/bra/pants in the junior section doesn't fit me. Worst feeling ever and trying on those bras brought back all those memories. There were no tears but more of a slap to the face. Here I am a 19 year old girl and I have never one been able to try on something and say wow my body looks so good in this. Sure I have found things that have made me look slimmer but never once have I said "dang I look sexy. "

I have never experienced this and you best believe I am going to change that. Currently I am taking baby steps such as: eating tomatoes (this is huge trust me), ordering veggies and fruits, slowing down my eating, and saving part of my meal for later. However no cardio at all these past two weeks. I am so regretting it and I am definitely feeling it because I don't have any energy, but I know that I will be taking no prisoners once I get back to school. I will have access to the gym and a cafeteria filled with all kinds of healthy choices.

Funny thing is that every time I would find myself in the dressing room staring in the mirror crying because I hated the person looking back at me. I would always say "that I am going to change this and I am going to be skinnier next time I look for clothes." However this time as I looked in the mirror all I could think of was how I wasted so many years wishing that I looked different and never taking action. I though of all my successes and failures and as I left that dressing room with my 'okay' fitting bras in my hand. I though of only one thing. Time to get serious and take action.